It Was Lovely To Work Here – Bye, Suckers!
Three months of uncertainty. Then, the one-on-one calls began. I was the first to step into the firing line.
Let’s roll back to that day—the day I was fired.
Best Day Of My Life
Anxiety wraps its slick fingers around my throat. I kick its ugly butt. It won’t be me, right? Can’t be me…
The manager cheerfully greets me. Too cheerful. Almost fake. Something’s off.
“… I’m coming with bad news,” she says after short small talk. “You’re being let go from The Company. I’m sorry, Lukas.”
I smile at her pixelated face on the screen.
Oh. So it’s me.
A lump forms in my throat, heavy and almost suffocating. My eyes sting, threatening tears. I fight them back. Not now.
My mind flies at the speed of light. “Why me?” I finally manage to ask.
A beat. A breath. A silence long enough to bite.
“We had to let one go, and you were the only developer specializing solely in front-end,” she answers, or something along those lines.
In a team where 95% of the work is front-end, you don’t need a dedicated front-end developer? Ha ha ha, good fucking joke. God damn. I can’t believe this bullshit.
“It’s okay,” I say, forcing a crooked smile. “Someone had to go. I guess I’ll take the bullet.” A nervous chuckle.
Calm. Composed. I joke to lighten the mood. Inside, I’m a whirlwind, on the edge of a breakdown.
Fuck you. Fucking shit—To hell with your goddamn company! I worked hard. Was I just the cheapest to cut? Tell me. Just God damn be straight and tell me!
I say none of this.
I swallow the lump, pushing my emotions deep down, burying them like seeds for a long winter. Stay there, dumb emotions. No one wants to see you.
The hour crawls by. Every word stretches into eternity. I just want to click “Leave Meeting” and disappear. Poof—gone.
I don’t want to explain this to my family, partner, colleagues, or friends—or even pretend I’m fine. The situation sucks. I want to vanish. Let myself sink deep into the storm within. Drown in sad music and thoughts full of existential questions about why the world isn’t as good as I wish it to be.
The manager talks about support, severance pay, and even a bonus. Blah, blah, blah… It’s all just nice words, insisted by top heads to be told to us. To maintain a beautiful public image. Just let me go.
Though, I do appreciate the support. Really. No sarcasm. I get it’s not personal.
I laugh, I joke, I keep it together. My public self makes a staggering appearance. It shields the crumbling me inside, while the vulnerable part makes its way into the shell.
What now then?
The call ends. Finally! Silence fills my room. I let my emotions crawl back up. To strengthen the feeling, I click play on one of the depressive songs from my playlist. Just a little bit of torture.
That evening I turn to some drinks. I open up to my closest people and talk about my concerns and hatred towards the unfairness of The Company, or simply of life.
Then, mid-evening, something in me flipped—like a switch. Nope. Fuck this. I wasn’t some disposable asset—I was free. I’d take their severance, their bullshit “best wishes”, and turn it into something better.
Bye, Suckers!
The self-belief was so familiar to me. I’d felt it before. In moments of defeat, it struck me like lightning. The feeling was… like listening to your favorite song and you hear that one part you love is about to play and suddenly… it hits your gut. Motivation, inspiration, and the state of flow all crash down at once.
There was still a month left before my official last day of “release”. With that newfound strength, I landed a new job before I was even out the door!
And it’s not just a last straw job—it’s a really good one, full of opportunities to grow my career. Here, I’m surrounded by talented developers eager to share their vast knowledge. By my second day at the new company, I already felt at home—like I’d finally found “The Family” that every corporation claims to be.
Sure, I had other doubts and I still don’t know where tides will take me, but so far I feel good in here.
Long story short, I took the severance pay—thanks!
Dusted my hands off, and moved on.
Bye, suckers!
Not The Only One
Across multiple countries, over three thousand people were laid off from The Company.
I scroll through LinkedIn posts. People write about “great opportunities” and post their cheerful goodbyes. Seriously? Are you all delusional?
It felt fake. Like a corporate produced script. I couldn’t do that. So I wrote this messy, unfiltered truth.
This Is The Best Thing That Happened To Me
But is it?
What does it mean when people share their stories of impactful past life events that turned their lives 180 degrees? Is it… real?
When we look back, we almost always see the opportunities it created and how much we grew. The great things that happened afterwards will attach themselves as achievements of that singular big, bad event. And in part, it’s the truth. You really grew that much.
However, in the heat of the moment, I would never say it’s a good thing, the wounds are simply too deep.
With time, scars heal and fade—almost completely. Channel that energy, that anger, that sadness. Create something. Who knows? Maybe your best work will come from that storm.
I’m lucky though. Throughout all this mess, I always had my circle of friends, partner, parents, and even my team. They all support me wildly. And I’m extremely grateful for that.
Be The Real You
Now, what am I trying to say with this story?
First of all, I’m human, so surely this wasn’t and isn’t easy for me. And opening up? That’s even farther from easy.
Writing is of course a simpler form. Speaking is always much more intimate and difficult. Though I can’t say that clicking the “Publish” button was easy. But this is what I want to share—my real journey. And did you ever hear of a journey without pain points?
If nothing else, take this from my story: Be open. Speak up. Write it out. Don’t bury yourself behind walls—let the real you show up. Even if just sometimes.
Listened to:
If you made it this far, thank you for reading! This is different from my previous writings, more unfiltered, and not something I usually share.
What next? This was just one storm. I’ve got so much more to tell.
P.S. The company wasn’t evil. The people weren’t villains. But this isn’t about them. It never was. This is my story.